I’ve had some time to think this past week and have a lot swirling in my head. I’m not feeling particularly inspired to write however, perhaps because a head cold is clouding my brain.
So for today, I’ll just post this reminder to turn off that internal (or external) voice of judgment that might be telling you who or what you should be or do or say, and instead to just be true to yourself — and ever grateful for those who matter in your life.
One of the things that’s been incredibly useful about coach training is understanding the power of choosing the perspective that you will take regarding a specific situation or set of facts. We really can choose to see the glass half full or half empty… or we can banish the glass entirely and replace it with an overflowing bucket. The choice is ours.
I’ve had a couple of hard weeks at work and have been in a bit of a funk post toe surgery. I’ve decided to call that place “Wallow.” Wallow was a cold and dark place full of self-pity and self-inflicted misery. There was no exercise, no progress on important goals, and everything just felt more difficult than it needed to be. It wasn’t depression, I just felt mired in mud.
Yesterday I decided that Wallow wasn’t serving me very well. So I waged an eviction and decided to shift to the perspective of “Half Full.” Nothing actually changed in my life. The facts were still the same. But Half Full looked at the same set of facts and chose to see them differently – my toe was starting to heal, I really hadn’t gained any weight from not exercising, a huge project at work was behind me, the weather was improving, and my schedule in the next two weeks would give the freedom to begin making progress again.
That was a helpful change of perspective which put me in a better frame of mind, but it still wasn’t moving me forward. So with the help of friend from my coaching class, I moved to a new perspective we called “Running Free.” And I came up with 30 specific things that I’m going to do in the next 2 weeks to begin reclaiming my time, making progress again on the things that matter to me, and asking for support along the way–which I often don’t like to do. Some of these are small and some are pretty big. But I’m excited to be moving in a positive direction again. Also helpful is the fact that I’m accountable. The list is written down and it has been shared. I’ve got eight of them done and my list next to my computer as a reminder. I’ve promised to update her next weekend — and then the weekend after that. Gotta get busy — time’s a-wastin’!
Running Free is lighter, brighter and full of possibility. I’m not actually running again and won’t be for a while, but I’m not going to sit around and feel sorry for myself because of it. I’ve chosen a different path.
Is there a place in your life where you’re stuck or wallowing? What new perspective might you find?
Posted in Growing, Running, Thinking
Tagged acceptance, coaching, commitment, goals, growth, inspiration, life, mindset, perspective, possibility, running injury, thinking
This week I thought I’d take a break from writing and just offer up a few quotes and snips that I’ve gathered in the past few weeks that have gotten me thinking:
“At times you have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.” -Alan Alda
“To be sincerely loyal to yourself is to allow yourself the freedom to grow, change and challenge who you are and what you think at any given moment in time. The only thing you ever are for sure is unsure, and this means you’re growing, and not stagnant or imprisoned by old ways of thinking.” – Marc and Angel Hack Life
“As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. And as we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Nelson Mandela
“I doesn’t take as much as we think to step outside our comfort zone, it only takes a willingness.” – Mike Robbins
“Perfection, as it’s revered and pursued in our culture, is an unhealthy lie. A myth. A human construct. A marketing concept. In many cases, it’s a story told by people who want to manipulate your mindset and behavior to buy what they’re selling. And while it means different things to different people, the pursuit of it rarely leads to anything more positive than anxiety, insecurity, self-doubt and misery.” – Craig Harper
Do any of these resonate with you? How so?
Posted in Growing, Thinking
Tagged Alan Alda, beginnings, change, Comfort zone, commitment, courage, curiosity, growth, inspiration, leadership, life, Nelson Mandela, perfection, possibility, thinking, Thought
With a winter storm bearing down on the Northeast yesterday, I walked into the gym and it was overflowing with people, with every treadmill taken, and it stayed that way all morning – and up until the early storm closing at 1 pm. Seeing all those folks there got me thinking about the difference between motivation and commitment.
Those at the gym were the committed… the people who took time out of preparing for the storm to make sure they got their workouts in – knowing that it was unlikely that they would be able to get to the gym on Saturday during the blizzard. They had planned ahead, making themselves and their workouts a priority, even as the snow began to fall outside.
So often I hear people say “I’m just not motivated enough to get in shape or lose weight [or change whatever habits they’d like to change].” But it’s not really about motivation. Motivation is what happens when you see that picture of yourself looking unacceptable. Or when you realize that “enough is enough” and something needs to change. Motivation happens in the moment. Motivation is that resolution that you set on January 1st, pledging that this will be the year of the “new you.” Motivation is exciting – it gets you started, but it won’t get you the finish line.
That’s because motivation is transient. One day you wake up and you just don’t FEEL motivated anymore. Maybe you’re tired, or you’re stressed, or you feel crappy, or sorry for yourself. Your motivation needle drops to zero and before you know it, you’re back to your old ways. Not exercising. Digging into the freezer for that pint of Ben and Jerry’s. And probably feeling miserable about yourself for “just not being motivated enough to reach your goal.” Again. Damn. And the cycle repeats.
In those dark moments when motivation fails you, what you really NEED to summon is your commitment. Commitment is a powerful force that takes a stand for you and your priorities today, tomorrow, and the next day. Commitment is rooted in the why behind what you wanted to change. To be healthy, to be fit, to be happy, to start that business. It’s hard to put yourself and your priorities first. Somewhere along the way so many of us get taught that it’s “selfish” to put yourself first. But if we don’t take care of ourselves we can’t truly care for others.
Commitment is focus. It means putting yourself at the top of your to do list, blocking out time in your schedule for your workout, and saying no to people who will sabotage your efforts. Commitment is a mindset that you have a new and healthier habit now.
Motivation happens in the moment. Commitment happens everyday.
Live your commitment.
Posted in Fitness, Growing, Thinking
Tagged beginnings, commitment, fitness, goals, health, inspiration, motivation, resolutions, running, thinking, weight
In his blog, Chris Brogan challenges readers to come up with 3 words for the New Year — words that will define your values and experiences in the coming year — your bigger story. I’ve been noodling on this a bit this week and have finally settled on my 3 words. I’ll be blogging more about why I’ve chosen these and what they mean for me in the coming year, but for today, here they are:
The first two came easily, but I spent some time on the last one which duked it out for for a couple of days with Worthiness. Since one of my goals in the coming year is to do a better job listening to my instincts rather than over thinking things, I went with my gut on this one. So Play it is.
How about you? What are YOUR three words for 2013?
Posted in Growing, Thinking
Tagged brogan, coaching, courage, goals, inspiration, play, possibility, resolutions, thinking, worthiness
A few quotes to start off the year from C. Joybell C.
“Don’t be afraid of your fears. They’re not there to scare you. They’re there to let you know that something is worth it.”
“I have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where I am going. And I have trained myself to love it. Because it is only when we are suspended in mid-air with no landing in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. And as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to. But the miracle is in the unfolding of the wings. You may not know where you’re going, but you know that so long as you spread your wings, the winds will carry you.”
“The only way that we can live, is if we grow.
The only way that we can grow is if we change.
The only way that we can change is if we learn.
The only way we can learn is if we are exposed.
And the only way that we can become exposed is if we throw ourselves out into the open.
Do it. Throw yourself.”
“We can’t be afraid of change. You may feel very secure in the pond that you are in, but if you never venture out of it, you will never know that there is such a thing as an ocean, a sea. Holding onto something that is good for you now, may be the very reason why you don’t have something better.”
“No, this is not the beginning of a new chapter in my life; this is the beginning of a new book! That first book is already closed, ended, and tossed into the seas; this new book is newly opened, has just begun! Look, it is the first page! And it is a beautiful one!”
Here’s to new beginnings — unwritten books, bigger ponds and the beauty of flight — and all the growth and learning that you can stand in 2013 — and then a little more!