The Power of Perspectives

One of the things that’s been incredibly useful about coach training is understanding the power of choosing the perspective that you will take regarding a specific situation or set of facts. We really can choose to see the glass half full or half empty… or we can banish the glass entirely and replace it with an overflowing bucket. The choice is ours.

I’ve had a couple of hard weeks at work and have been in a bit of a funk post toe surgery.  I’ve decided to call that place “Wallow.” Wallow was a cold and dark place full of self-pity and self-inflicted misery. There was no exercise, no progress on important goals, and everything just felt more difficult than it needed to be. It wasn’t depression, I just felt mired in mud.

Yesterday I decided that Wallow wasn’t serving me very well. So I waged an eviction and decided to shift to the perspective of “Half Full.” Nothing actually changed in my life. The facts were still the same. But Half Full looked at the same set of facts and chose to see them differently – my toe was starting to heal, I really hadn’t gained any weight from not exercising, a huge project at work was behind me, the weather was improving, and my schedule in the next two weeks would give the freedom to begin making progress again.

That was a helpful change of perspective which put me in a better frame of mind, but it still wasn’t moving me forward. So with the help of friend from my coaching class, I moved to a new perspective we called “Running Free.” And I came up with 30 specific things that I’m going to do in the next 2 weeks to begin reclaiming my time, making progress again on the things that matter to me, and asking for support along the way–which I often don’t like to do. Some of these are small and some are pretty big.  But I’m excited to be moving in a positive direction again.  Also helpful is the fact that I’m accountable. The list is written down and it has been shared. I’ve got eight of them done and my list next to my computer as a reminder. I’ve promised to update her next weekend — and then the weekend after that.  Gotta get busy — time’s a-wastin’!

Running Free is lighter, brighter and full of possibility. I’m not actually running again and won’t be for a while, but I’m not going to sit around and feel sorry for myself because of it.  I’ve chosen a different path.

Is there a place in your life where you’re stuck or wallowing?  What new perspective might you find?

Guest Musings

This week I thought I’d take a break from writing and just offer up a few quotes and snips  that I’ve gathered in the past few weeks that have gotten me thinking:

“At times you have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition.  What you’ll discover will be wonderful.  What you’ll discover is yourself.”   -Alan Alda

“To be sincerely loyal to yourself is to allow yourself the freedom to grow, change and challenge who you are and what you think at any given moment in time.  The only thing you ever are for sure is unsure, and this means you’re growing, and not stagnant or imprisoned by old ways of thinking.” – Marc and Angel Hack Life

“As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same.  And as we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Nelson Mandela

“I doesn’t take as much as we think to step outside our comfort zone, it only takes a willingness.” – Mike Robbins

“Perfection, as it’s revered and pursued in our culture, is an unhealthy lie. A myth. A human construct. A marketing concept. In many cases, it’s a story told by people who want to manipulate your mindset and behavior to buy what they’re selling. And while it means different things to different people, the pursuit of it rarely leads to anything more positive than anxiety, insecurity, self-doubt and misery.” – Craig Harper

Do any of these resonate with you?   How so?

Three Words for 2013, Part Two

Recently I blogged about the three words I’ve chosen for 2013.  Today, a little more about the WHY behind those words…

One of my three words for is possibility. That’s because this year feels just brimming with possibility – new opportunities, new learning and new things to explore. A new leader at work, my new business, my upcoming leadership program, new friends, new colleagues, and new goals. I’m trying to step up to something bigger – and outside my comfort zone, maybe something I’ve not yet even discovered. Evolution is a long slow process, but it feels like there’s a big shift just over the horizon as I evolve and let go of old things that aren’t working and embrace the new. Though my coaching, I’m also helping others test the limits of what is possible for them – running a first marathon or racing for the first time. And that is incredibly cool to watch.

Another is courage. For me, that’s a combination of several things, including being willing to take more risk and allow myself to be more vulnerable. My default is to think things through in detail and proceed carefully and cautiously so as to maximize the chances that I will succeed. In 2013, I’m trying to let that go a little. To trust in a way that lets me forge deeper connections with people. To have the courage to listen to my heart and not my head – go with my instincts and see where that will take me. To embrace mistakes and the risk of failure and hope that in doing so, I might exceed my own expectations. And at worst, things will be ok. Courage is here too because 2013 will require me to navigate a high ropes course. And I don’t even like ladders!

And my third word is play. Just because sometimes I need to quit being so damn serious and logical about everything.

Photo by Greg

My 3 Words for 2013

In his blog, Chris Brogan challenges readers to come up with 3 words for the New Year — words that will define your values and experiences in the coming year —  your bigger story.  I’ve been noodling on this a bit this week and have finally settled on my 3 words.  I’ll be blogging more about why I’ve chosen these and what they mean for me in the coming year, but for today, here they are:

• Courage
• Possibility
• Play

The first two came easily, but I spent some time on the last one which duked it out for for a couple of days with Worthiness.   Since one of my goals in the coming year is to do a better job listening to my instincts rather than over thinking things, I went with my gut on this one.  So Play it is.

How about you?  What are YOUR three words for 2013?

The Gift of Curiosity in the New Year

It’s that time.  Everyone’s starting to look back, look forward, and make resolutions to do things differently in the coming year.

What if you tried something different this year?  Instead of trying to DO things differently, what if you decided to BE differently in the coming year.

What is you cultivated your inner curiosity?  What might that look like?

Maybe your morning walk would take you to the end of a street that you’ve never explored. Maybe you’d explore a new parcel of open space in a neighboring town or a different part of the state.

Maybe you’d engage someone in your community or in your neighborhood in a different way.  What if you took the time to have coffee with that local developer you’re at odds with politically?   What if you knocked on the door of a new neighbor’s house and got to know them?  What new doors might open for you?

Maybe you’d take the time to introduce a child to the natural world – letting their unconstrained wonder for wild things rub off on you.   Or take a class and learn something new for yourself…

Maybe you’d talk less and listen more, really trying to appreciate someone else’s perspective on a situation that you thought you understood already.   And maybe you’d ask more questions – why, what if, how come – instead of being so sure of the answers.

Or maybe you’d take a new adventure to somewhere you’ve always been curious about?

How can you be more insatiably curious in (and about!) 2013?